Hahaha, I know the story I’m about to tell you is going to be 🔥 🔥. But heeeey :)), I’ve been quiet for so long but well you know life happens then bla…bla…..bla…..bla…..
Today let’s talk fuccboizzzz….. whenever I hear that name I cringe or I get that tingly sensation, do you know it?? 😒 😒
For those who don’t know the meaning of a fuckboy, I’ll let the urban dictionary do this for me because if I do I will add insults that are very unnecessary 😂 😂.
(back to the story)…
My campus days, my prime time, I saw a guy and I thought he was cute, dressed well and very eloquent when he spoke, I was very impressed (in my head), ‘what a man!’ ( Jeff Koinang’e voice). I had that urge to talk to him but I didn’t because I am that old school girl that will not go talking to the guy, I mean its Boy meets Girl and not vice versa . You know life it can very twisting at times so my friend Ashley introduced me to this guy that I had seen earlier in the week.
In my head I had already called him ‘papi’ that Mexican accent, walked down the aisle, had his kids and grown old and even imagined we had already built our house in a posh estate where we just watch our grandkids play and say ‘we made those bomb ass kids’ 😂 😂 😂.
My imagination is just A A A++++
We get acquitted and from there we met afew times through Ashley before we exchanged numbers. After we had exchanged numbers we started meeting casually, going on dates, rugby play offs and events. Since we were hanging out most of the time we decided to make it official by being a couple.
At first the dates were very common, birthday dates were remembered but as time went by the dates decreased, Ohh my birthday was forgotten (this is ‘holy ground’for a breakup) but I am there telling myself nigga will change. Girls better listen to this once a FUCKBOY always a FUCKBOY!!! He will never change for you. On his birthday its a f****** reminder on my phone, since I’m this great baker (just saying), I decided to show him my baking skills by making blackforrest just how he likes it but mine Ohh Lord! It just passed and when I asked him he was like ‘ohh babe nlisahau but hbd tungojee ya next year ‘. This is when you leave food for ancestors to remove the curse on your love life 😔 😔.
Like a strong lady that I am (this thing called girl power can lie to you sometimes, don’t you agree??), telling myself mama never raised a quitter, I wanted to see where this would lead but it reaches a time in your life you say enough is enough!
The day I called it quits was when we were seated just chilling and I thought it would be him and me time. As usual, fuckboys are really unpredictable sometimes! This ex boyfriend of mine is there chatting on whatsapp with others while I’m there trying to talk. This went on for awhile and I ask him, ‘so should I text you that we could be able to talk or spend time with each other??’
He replies, ‘ Love you know I’m the admin to many groups on whatsapp so I’m trying to manage the groups.’ Cheeei! Mother of my mother, brother to the cousins of my cousins in the next life what kind of sorcery am I being told???
I was very shocked 😲, after hearing that the quotes you see on Facebook being shared about My mama didn’t raise a lady to be mistreated by a man ran through my mind.
I rose from the seat and went home, no nigga shall do me like this again (singing in my head). That’s how I stopped relating to fuckboys till to date. Till now I still think of the answer I was given about whatsapp and I laugh to myself, what thing was I ‘dating’???
I think now I understand when he said he is the admin to many groups because now I’m working in the administration office at China Town, Kajiado 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 So I know the pressure of handling many people, I think..
Since these days I can read fuckboy from a mile away, after several experiences with such dimwits, I can now tell what a fuckboi is. Lets just say I have been given the talent of discerning such.
How to spot one is as follows :-
1. If he says, ‘ aki jana c we chafuad or lewad’ just know you are walking into a fuckboy zone!
2. If he tries to speak English like Rich Homie Quan, who basically doesn’t know what he is saying just know Fuckboy ⚠
3. If he sags, eeeh! If he sags Ohh, put a stop to this!
4. If you only hook up in the evening, Girl you better watch out!
I know some will say this is not a fuckboy, please save that comment for your ancestors.
Beware I tell you, no need to suffer from these types of people.
Girl be warned! If you haven’t gotten yourself a fuccboi, be thankful to the Lord Jesus! 😂 😂 😂
If you spot one coming your way, run like Kemboi or even better.